The Start of the Journey

Honestly, I don't really know how I would start this blog right now. But then I think I just did! Haha, anyway, it's 2:32 am and I believe I should be doing something else - sleeping, to be exact. However, I really want to grab this opportunity to take you on a journey that has just been started and maybe a trip down memory lane.

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." - Jeremiah 33:3

As a kid, I had a very extensive imagination. Actually, I believe I haven't really lost my lifetime ticket to Lala-land. Oh you know - the land of kings and queens, fairies and magic, royal balls and Prince Charming, porcelain dolls and tiaras, castles and towers, candies and sweets. I have tons of fairytale books and I occasionally borrow the VHS versions especially when I visit my hometown and see my cousins. From Cinderella and Snow White to Ariel and Belle, it was almost a nonstop ride to the land of happy endings. Oh I dreamt of that - being a princess, finding my one true love, having a prince who will sweep me off my feet, wearing puffy ball gowns and glass slippers, and living happily ever after. I love fairytales and fantasies... and science experiments. I know, that's how wide-ranged my imagination was: fact to fiction. I also dreamt of building a mini hovering vehicle - or a flying scooter maybe - just because I wanted to really make those science fiction movies come to life. I began to spend my after-school hours inside a HUGE public library (yes, high ceiling!) researching about the Wright Brothers, and scanning through big bulks of Encyclopedia just for fun. I loved the feel of their leather-bound covers, the look of the gold lining on the edges and on the side; I adore the anquity of some of these precious treasures. And yes, from futuristic to ancient and from science to arts - my mind traveled to-and-fro. So you could also imagine what else I loved and still love, vintage! I was a discovery enthusiast: I used to always go inside this tiny room at my grandparents' house and peek into antique closets with all these hidden compartments. I found lots of coins from the 1900s, a few old gold watches, old photographs, and letters. This was like treasure hunting for me, and indeed I considered my findings as treasures. My imagination ran wild whenever I played, and my mind traveled to many places with the books I read.

SO WHAT? ... Remember that verse I quoted above? Many would say that it is God's personal telephone number, a hotline that never goes busy. But I've just realized how much more it meant to me and how much more I can relate to God through it (Oh my goodness, I'm telling you, as I am typing and thinking, God is explaining this to me better). Recently, I really wanted to patch up my relationship with God; I long for my prayers to be more than just petitionary, but for them to really be relational and intimate. Gone are my nights of lifeless talks and routine-driven prayers - at least that is what I really wanted. But I don't know where to start or how to start; I cannot even focus on intercession because I know I have to pray for something more important. I even feel selfish because I've been praying a lot for myself lately than for others; but I know that before I can even minister to others, I have to be ministered first.

If we were to talk about phone lines, here's an illustration of my conundrum (well, not really, I just want to say something fancy): Ever ordered pizza through the delivery service? Well, I haven't, but I've seen enough movies so I think I know where I'm going with this. Haha! Isn't it that when you call, you just basically state your business of calling - which is getting your pepperoni pizza and diet coke - and hang up right after the deal is done? Usually you do, except when you prank call, but that's out of the topic. It is basically the same as petitionary prayers, "Lord I want this, I want that. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Amen." Translated to pizza delivery language, "I want a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and sauce, and a large diet coke. Thank you." I usually do that, less praisy, more asky. I praise God just because it is part of ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication), not because I really want to with all my heart.

"Lord, I praise you and magnify your Holy Name... by the way, here's my list of
needs and the list of others' needs too."

The longer I pray like this, the more it becomes a burden than a joy. I know at some point I need to stop; I just won't survive this boring routine of doing my devotion every 9pm. I have to find THE missing piece. And that is what I have learned... I have to have a heart-to-heart talk with the pizza guy. Oooooohh, ahhh-wkk-waardd. I know, and if it were happening in real life, uh yeah, that would be a trip to planet Woo - Land of the weird! See my point? It is awkward when I don't know the person that well or at all! Let's say, sure I want to, but how or where do I start? THAT is my problem, how do I not only talk to that person on the other line, but also converse...intimately? But the best thing about this is that God isn't just a pizza guy; he is way more than that, WAY more. He will never feel weird when I start to draw near to Him and begin to ask "How did your day go Lord?" (Although technically, since one day for Him is a thousand years for me, my question is yet to be answered...in the year 3000. But, might as well give Him a good chuckle. Haha.) But how do I really get to be intimate with God?

Here is His answer: Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. Okay, so I call, He answers. But wait... He'll tell me of great and unsearchable things I do not know? Looks like treasure hunting to me! And he is the one to give the treasure map. This is what He is telling me: renew your passion for discovery, let your spiritual imagination run wild, fulfill your vision, ignite your childlike faith, SEEK ME AND YOU WILL FIND ME. Peek more into the hidden compartments and delight more in seeing high towers of countless hard, leather-bound books; adore the mystery of God and long to see the treasure that is in Him. Do not give up the dream of making a flying scooter, and do not forget Cinderella and Ariel. In other words, I must use my beginning to look forward to the end. I must go back to my first love.

I may not know yet how to work it out exactly as God wants me to use it; nevertheless, it is the start of countless discoveries I will make, the beginning of God's unfolding of His treasure map. He did not put this passion in my heart for no reason; oh He knows how excited I get with mysteries (that's why I loved reading Nancy Drew books). He also knows that I am losing it slowly, and He doesn't want that to happen. I bet my heavenly Papa, my great storyteller, the captain of my ship, the author of my story, and the treasure of my heart has tons of incredible things to show me... did I mention He is currently working on my love story, too?

Yep, who said Prince Charming is a myth? Not with my author. ;)

Stay tuned. God bless!

"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple." - Psalm 27:4

~*Living the Love Song*~