Think.

You.
Infuriating bane of my existence.
Had I not been stuck in the middle, 
I would have let myself loose.

You.
The ultimate pain in the neck.
Had I not been smiling,
I would have punched you.

You.
Time-waster.
Had I not been discerning,
I would have thought differently.

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You're a waste of precious space, please give it up.

:)