W for Winter? No, W for Worship.

Usual day - I woke up late though, and yes I missed my Biology class (again). But then I need to go to school because I have a quiz to write for Biology tutorial. So I was on the train, staring outside as always, enjoying my favorite view (between Edmonds and 22nd Street), slightly smiling and sighing whenever I feel something good inside, when I thought of something that I have never thought of before.


If I recall correctly, I was listening to Parachute Band's "All the Earth" on my iPod at that time. ...hear the trees, joyful cry, praising You... . At that moment, when I looked at the trees one by one, I have seen something different. I said to myself, wow, look at the branches of those trees. They look like they are raising their little arms to praise their Creator. The sight of towering pine trees against the vastness of the sky never looked so majestic. ...hear the trees, joyful cry, praising You... . And I'm seeing it. It's amazing. They speak silently yet they worship with zeal, something that I have never seen before. What amazed me more is the sight of those smaller trees, and even those little bermuda grass sprouts. All day, all night, "hands and arms" raised up high! I can't even keep my hands raised for 30 minutes straight!







But the best thing I have seen all day is this. Yes, I did see the pine trees. Yes I did see those trees that still have their leaves on. Oh and yes, they look wonderful. But what about those that entirely lost their leaves earlier this fall season? I wonder what their story is. Winter is coming up... it's all part of the cycle... Yeah I know that. But when I clicked my brain's camera and developed the picture in my head, it's different.






Some would think it is a gloomy and sad picture. I thought of the same, but God made me see it differently. Yes it is nice to see these trees with all their splendor; it's great to enjoy looking at the different colors of the leaves during fall. But once those leaves are all gone and what is left to see are those dark, spooky-looking branches, do they still tell of a glorious message?


YES! I have realized that even though those leaves that bring splendor to their stature give glory to the Creator of all things, and when these trees lift their branches in worship, they tell of the beauty of the Lord, taking them all off brings greater focus on God. We see them for what they are and what they do, we clearly see their devotion in worship. Now, without those leaves, we clearly see their branches - their arms and hands - lifted up high in worship of the Great "I Am". They may be naked, but in their nakedness, their highest praise shows. Did they curse God for stripping them off their layer of "clothing"? They have been taking good care of their precious leaves during the rest of the other seasons and now they are being commanded to take them off? Ouch. But did they mutter complaints and annoyance? No, they kept their "hands" up high! ...we'll praise you in the spring, in the summer, in the fall, and in the winter Lord. We'll praise You all day, all night.


What an amazing way to illustrate how we Christians should be! When everything is stripped away, all that should be seen from us is our extravagant worship, because that's what we are created for. What are these extra things in life? They are like the wind that comes and goes. They aren't ours, even our lives aren't ours! We are but stewards of God's treasures. In the end, it's not going to be a matter of how much we give out of our abundance, but how much we give out of our nothingness.




Praise be to God forever and ever.



CREATED TO PRAISE. BORN TO WORSHIP THE ROCK OF SALVATION. ♥

Fragrance and Thorns

Sometimes I do feel a slight prick in my heart whenever I see couples who are very much happy and in love. Often times I just don't care, especially when I see younger couples who seem to be ecstatic about having someone to cuddle up with.

Sometimes I do feel sad; sometimes it just doesn't matter anymore. I do have thoughts in my mind - when will my turn be? Is there really someone out there that God has set apart for me? Or what if He wants me to be single for the rest of my earthly life? I want to make sense of things. I want to know His plans.

Sometimes I do ask - why this? Not that I hate it, not that I like it either. It just confuses me a lot. I've had my fair share of grave mistakes in the past and I don't want to repeat history. I've read somewhere that if you want to raise your caliber as a woman, you must set a high standard for men. Exactly, I don't want to give my heart out to anyone who walks by and asks for it; I'm happy I got over the "he's cute so he'll make a great bf" stage.

Sometimes I want to do things my own way; sometimes I do get tired of waiting. Sometimes I'm stuck in the middle, and that's where I am actually... well, let's say most of the time. I want to believe that there will come a time wherein I would see God's perfect match for me. He need not be perfect like those fairytale princes and romance novel hunks, 'coz when he is God-given, I'm sure he's the ONE. But when? Or what if I'm waiting for nothing? I'm confused.

Sometimes I just can't find the answer myself, even if I look through every page in the Bible. I mean, I know it's there but I do need help finding it and understanding it; I'm not a one-man band, I need help. I do thank God 'coz He does speak to me wherever I lay my eyes on. Just a few things I've read:

"Yet in the Bible, those who followed God's leadership and guidance when searching for a soulmate (Isaac) fared better than those who tried to do it their own way (Jacob, David, Solomon, etc.)" - Brian Tubbs [that I haven't noticed before]

Demoss exhorts singles not to make marriage and sex their objective, but rather to become a godly lover as Christ did. "If we’re to become more Christlike, we’ll need to learn that generosity and serving others is at the heart of the matter," concludes DeMoss in Sex & the Single Person. "In doing, we’ll best prepare ourselves for life whether we remain single or married." [I like this one. Godly lovers.]

"Honor God with your life. Keep your vows to him even if it hurts. It will pay off in the long run." - (I forgot who said this.. credits to you) [True that.]

It still hurts. It does, but I can't afford to lose my relationship with the One who loves me the most. Although the pain may mask my heart and my eyes, causing me not to see the love He is constantly giving me, but it's there. I just have to see it, it is right there.

But few things are for sure,

I'd rather be single than be with the wrong one...

I'd rather be single than be lost in the world of earthly lust and immorality...

I'd rather be single than hate myself afterwards for not listening to what God is saying about marriage and relationships...

I'd rather be single than be addicted to pseudo-affection... and pain.

I want to find my contentment in You, Lord.

Pondering.

Lord, let Your love consume me like fire.
I want to dwell in Your presence forever,
and stay where You are.
It's overwhelming but it feels so good.

When it doesn't feel right...

I miss the times when I don't have to exert effort in friendship.
It's just is. I don't feel uncomfy or intimidated. It's just how it is, we are friends.
No need to explain myself, or prove myself to them.
No need to always start the conversation, or think hard about the next topic or next thing I'm going to say.
No awkward silences. If there are some, they just resort to laughter afterwards.
No need to try and fit in because I don't have to. We're just part of each other.
We can endure long talks on the phone, text messages all night long.
They got my back, I got theirs.I'm always part of the gimmicks and hangouts. I rarely missed out on those things.
Everything's genuine, what I see is what I get.
Those were the times when I just feel happy upon seeing them, and actually enjoy their company.
No one's left out, we were all in this together.
It was never just a "hi, hello" relationship, but it was an actual friendship.
I miss the times when I was actually friendly enough to befriend the entire class.
I miss how I'm so outgoing, and so jolly, and so funny, and so down-to-earth.
I miss how I'm always one of those people whom everybody actually knows of because of what I do and who I am.
I miss being a chum, a confidant, someone who would always listen and cheer people up.
I miss having tons of friends whom I can share my laughs with and spend movie days with.
From joyrides to mall hopping, the memories are just priceless.
I miss having chums whom I can tell everything to, who will listen and not grow tired of it.
Who actually know when I'm not in a good mood or when I'm not feeling well, or maybe if I'm broken-hearted. Who would message me early in the morning just to ask if I'm okay.
Friends who not only care about their close friends but everyone else. It's hard to fit in when you know you don't.
It's hard to take that first step. And get stuck at that first step.
Sometimes I wonder if it's just me.
But then again... I wouldn't really feel this way if there's nothing that makes me feel the way that I do.
It's hard to peek through little worlds, and try to find one that speaks most.It's harder to find one that is open.And every single night I ask God why I sense and see the things that I see.
Is it because I don't want to let go and start anew?
Or is it because they just don't want to let me in.

It's not that I lost the luster that I have in building friendships, I think I know I still have that.I know there's something wrong...

But I just want to find my old self again. The true me. The real me. Not the old ways, but the good in me.

It's hard to have just one or two persons to talk to all the time beyond the "hi's and hello's" of everyone else. I know how important it is to have friends, godly friends especially.

If it's just like that, maybe I could find the intimacy that I'm looking for somewhere else. I know God will lead me to them. I just know. Then I will truly be at home.

Peace Arch... and some more longing.

Well this morning was okay. I was half-lazy, half-sick... or maybe 1/4 lazy, 3/4 sick. I didn't go to the Sunday devotion again, because I was just too sick to get up. I even thought I won't be able to back up; I had no voice, really. I just decided to go on stage at the last minute. I was like 'should I stay or should I go now', *insert music here* LOL. But God is really good, at least He did let me stand even though I can't move that much and I feel like I'm gonna faint. =p. I didn't go back there for the ministering after the word and the victory though, I just can't do it.

Hectic, hectic, hectic sched. School's starting on Tuesday. But not for me... it starts tomorrow. =/ Well I have to go there tomorrow for this training thing and what not. I should just skip the whole thing and go somewhere else - out of province, perhaps?

I would say I didn't really enjoy my summer. At least I had this nice weekend with my family... oh and CYN Camp. But other than that, it was pretty... plain. No trips to Pinas, not even a single trip to Victoria. My parents and I had this small talk about us not going anywhere... I know I had made my point though. I was starting to get really tired of seeing the same four-cornered place, same intersections and stop lights, same stuff over and over again. I want something new; I feel like Surrey is choking me to death. I'm not claustrophobic but I feel like I'm locked up in a tight, secluded place and I'm gasping for breath.

Awesome though, we went to Peace Arch today. For the first time ever, I've stepped on US soil. LOL. And I never even realized I've crossed the geographic border already (not the barricaded one). I could've taken a picture of my first step! LOL, tourist. Another memory etched on my heart. =D Anypoo, it's always nice to run away from all craziness and be with my family; I always know that I'm home when I'm with them. Aww. Mush-mush-much. Few months from now, I'm going to cross that border... but for now, I'm happy seeing that other side. It makes the wait so much exciting. Kinda like love...

'put that past away... put that past away... put that past awwwaaaayy', expect for something great...no, greater... PERFECT.

I know I have my unfinished business that is yet to be done, but I shouldn't be so lost in it. You are just another northern star; that's all you'll ever be.


Some 'cham'callitz:

-- Something confirmed, another northern star added to my constellations. When will I ever see the end of the rainbow? I'm waiting Lord.

-- Saw my long-time-no-see friend, Marvin, today.

-- Bit disappointed with Duty Free, but then again, it is Duty Free anyway. =p

Bloggnish bloggnish and whatcham'callitz.

SO I just realized, well not really "just realized" since I've been aware of this since...some time ago, I might have an account in every blog site imaginable (Okay I might have exaggerated a bit). What to do then? It's good to only have one active, two or more is just a hassle. =/ I could've had my own domain if Wordpress hadn't made my head ache so badly. LOL. Anypoo-poo. Bloggnish bloggnish, we'll see how it goes.

Ooh yeah, speaking of whatcham'callitz, my friends and I went downtown to watch this really nice Filipino movie. It's entitled "A Very Special Love". It was nice seeing new reel-life couples. This one has Sarah Geronimo and John Lloyd Cruz - yeah I know, but hey infairness it was a really good team-up. I love how it's so funny too, Sarah's a natural, and John Lloyd... is really gwapo. =D
If I haven't been distracted by the fact that... *secret, I'm not telling*, I could've enjoyed it better.

~*Going through Your first stanza, will you take me to Your Chorus now?*~

Coffee with Jesus

Coffee with Jesus

"What exactly is prayer? Is it a time for us to tell Jesus about all of our problems and ask him to fix them? Or, rather, is it a two-way conversation with our Lord and Savior? When you pray, who does most of the talking? Do you ever let Jesus get a word in?"


Watch this, this is very true.