Michael Jackson, King of Pop

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LONG LIVE THE KING OF POP
Michael Jackson
1958-2009

*You're such an inspiration in many ways. It's just sad that you had to go through those things & you never had a chance to break free. But your good traits will be treasured. Your music lives on. I miss your laugh!

Heart of Worship (My Version)

3 EXAMS COMING UP...

... I can almost smell the sunshine. No, not really, you can't smell the sunshine. :P Ooo so close yet so far! I want it to be over now. 2 more days.

I say.

If you can't join them, leave them alone.

There's a lot of room to be civil.

A lot more room to fill up with true ones.

Think.

You.
Infuriating bane of my existence.
Had I not been stuck in the middle, 
I would have let myself loose.

You.
The ultimate pain in the neck.
Had I not been smiling,
I would have punched you.

You.
Time-waster.
Had I not been discerning,
I would have thought differently.

---------------------------------------------------

You're a waste of precious space, please give it up.

:)

Feel.

The voices in my head won't let go.

Why do they keep coming back?

I find no reason to rant,

But I seem urged to feel enraged.

I long to seek the dawn of day

with no more than a simple path.

To finally sleep in the coolness of the night

and wake up with nothing but lucence.

Why does it bother me?

An iota of concern, I should lend not.

Part of a whole yet clearly divided.

Circle of trust harder to encroach.

Sang-froid, may you draw near.

For time may come, this will not conceal.

Take me to that lucence, lead to afar.

Callous. Shall this be?

 

Lots to Learn.

I've realized that I still have lots to learn. I still have things that I don't have a concrete answer to. But that's the beauty of it all, I get to learn more, know more, and share my experiences while learning. I know He'll never fail to answer my questions in one way or another. That's how relationships are built. In knowing, there is trusting. I just have to be still... and exercise wisdom.

Tskkk..

Eek! Okay I'm really determined now.

Lose weight! Lose weight!

My Good Night Sleep.

I have to keep smiling whenever I'm tired.

I have to keep laughing whenever I'm tired.

I have to keep dreaming whenever I'm tired.

I have to keep loving whenever I'm tired.

I have to keep enjoying whenever I'm tired.

I have to keep looking up whenever I'm tired.

I have to keep trusting whenever I'm tired.

I have to keep praying whenever I'm tired.

I have to keep remembering whenever I'm tired.

'Coz You're the God who said I should be still.

'Coz You're the God who said I should be strong.

Is there anything too hard for You? No.

Thank You for my good night sleep.

LOVE YOU.

:) The Sweetest Thing Ever

Falling in love...

When I fall in love --- I'll fall in the arms of Him who loves me unconditionally, then He will safely land me in the arms of him whom He has set apart for me. 

FIREPROOF, best romantic movie I've ever seen. 

...I love You.

:)

A Not-So-Ordinary First Day of School

YES, it is here - the dreaded first day of classes added with more slushy goodness and icy weather. Ah, winter season. :)

While others find it hard to smile and laugh at this point in time, I, on the other hand, find it really hilarious. And yes I'm laughing at the things that happened to me today. I was smiling when people couldn't find any reason to. Oh that love that brings me to new heights!

My class for today starts at 9 in the morning, so to avoid the morning rush (this is not the perfect time to rush, believe me) my dad had to drop me off the train station earlier. Despite the unmistakeably distasteful road conditions, we managed to actually get there on schedule. But then when I went up the platform, there in front of my eyes were the very crowd that I don't want to see in the morning when I'm on my way to school. People squished on certain spots - spots where the train doors stop, open, and close. Good thing the train that came by was the longer one, although I have never seen that kind of train connected together like that before. Yeah, well that was that. I'm quite thankful that we were not so packed inside the train.

Broadway station, time check: 8:10 or so. AHHHH, line up! Again. :P Still calm. I just thought, if I would be late then I would be late, no use in heating up my brain gears to think about that. Maybe after 10 minutes or so, I finally get to board the bus. I still get to sit on my favorite seat at the rear end of the bus. Traveling, traveling, traveling. It actually took me 2 hours to get from Surrey to UBC. Whew!

Time check: it's definitely past 9 a.m., around 9:10-ish. After skating in the snow (haha, what? It was slippery) and struggling to go up a few steps, I finally reached my destination. Hooray! Expect it was the wrong one. Haha! I was even so happy and confident that finally, I survived UBC's winter... land. So I asked this girl if I could sit beside her and she said yes. But I knew there was just something that didn't feel right. It was a bit awkward. So I thought, was I in the right room? I glanced over one student's outline, and then my hunch was confirmed - I was in BIOL 335 class. I was thinking of the room I was supposed to be in - Room 250. Yeah, it was Room 250. Counting from the first floor, 150, then basement 25... wait a minute!! This is the basement, this is room 150! Hahaha, that what I like to call "first-day-of-school-faux-pas". Embarrassing wasn't it? Actually no, I had my fair share of more embarrassing moments. I just quietly went out of the room, maybe making them think I was bored and I decided to go home.

Time check: 9:20 a.m. I quickly went upstairs and entered the room only to find out that my class was cancelled. Haha, jaw-dropping wasn't it? Hehehe, yeah. But I made a new friend anyway so I know that was meant to happen. Off I went to the SUB to do stuff I needed to do.

Anyway, time passed by; I went to my other class, went to the bookstore, ate, and eventually went home. As I rode my last mode of transportation, I found myself very interested in playing this game on my iPhone called "Shake and Spell". I became so interested that I forgot to take notice of where I was, and so I missed my stop. Hehehe! I was about to miss the other stop too, had I not stopped playing. So there I was traveling down the much longer path home, passing through more icy goodness and slushy surprise with a little dash of dog poop. Ah, joy! I thought my laughing trip was over, but lo and behold, Mr. Puno the tree decided to throw his dishwater on me and thought it would be funny. Haha, what I meant was I got dripped over with icy slush that came from a tree. My jaws dropped as I stand there with slush on my hair and face. But I thought it was funny.

Overall it was a nice day. It couldn't get more interesting than that. I thank God for giving me the smiles and laughter that keep me going through these series of unfortunate events. He really is the reason why I smile. :)

Lovely day. Praise God.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Reasons Why I Love Jesus More Than Edward Cullen. :)

I Wish Girls Loved Jesus As Much As They Love Edward Cullen by Beky!! Christmas Contest!!

OH, but I love my JESUS MORE than Edward Cullen. :)


= A normal guy would say: “I love you, baby!”
= Edward Cullen would say: “You are my life now”

= God would say: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness.” - Jeremiah 31:3b

♥

= Edward Cullen would say: "The Lion fell in love with the Lamb."

= Jesus, the Lion of Judah, became the Lamb of God who was sacrificed so that through His death you may have life.
*2 Corinthians 5:21 – “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

♥

= Edward Cullen would sing you a song he wrote for you while playing the piano.

= God will exult over you with loud singing!
*Zephaniah 3:17 (Revised Standard) - “The Lord, your God, is in your midst, a warrior who gives victory; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will renew you with His love; He will exult over you with loud singing.”

♥

=If you died Edward would kill himself because life without you isn’t worth living.
*"Well, I wasn't going to live without you." He rolled his eyes as if that fact were childishly obvious. "But I wasn't sure how to do it--I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help... so I was thinking maybe i would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi."

=Jesus already died on the cross so that you don't have to receive death for your sins, because He values our souls.
* Isaiah 53:5 - “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.”

♥

= Edward Cullen would sing until your nightmares went away.
*"Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away."

= God will not just sing away the fear, He will DEFEND you from that fear and even send His angels to your rescue.
*Isaiah 41:10 (NIV) - “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
*Psalm 91:11 (NIV) - "For he will command his angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways."

♥

=As you left the house Edward Cullen would say: “Come back to me love”
*He smiled my favorite smile."Hurry back to me"
"Always"

=When you wander off, God would exert all efforts to find you.
*Matthew 18:12-14 - "If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?"

♥

=Edward Cullen would make you breakfast everyday.

=Jesus would never make you hungry nor thirsty all day, all night, and forever for He is the Bread of Life and Living Water.
*John 6:35 (NIV) - "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.”

♥

=Normal Guy would say: “You hair looks like a haystack ….go brush it!
=Edward Cullen would say: "Your hair looks like haystack…but I like it”

= Jesus would say: “You’re a sinner… but you are worth dying for.”
*Romans 5:8 (NIV) – “But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

♥

=Edward Cullen truly means everything he says.

= God doesn’t only mean what He says, His Word is stone-pierced and flawless. He has never broken a promise. NEVER.
* Psalm 89:34 - “I will not violate my covenant or alter what my lips have uttered.”
* Psalm 18:30 – “As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless.”

♥

=Edward Cullen is very patient… even at times when it’s hard to do so.

=God’s patience is unlimited!
*1 Timothy 1:16 – “But for that very reason, I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinner, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.”

♥

=Edward Cullen sparkles in the sunlight.

=God doesn’t just “sparkle”, He is blazing with light!
*Psalm 76:4 (NIV) – “You are RESPLENDENT with light, more majestic than mountains rich with game.”

♥

= Edward Cullen is very intelligent.

= God’s thoughts are BEYOND comprehension.
* Psalm 55:9 (NIV) – “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

♥

=A normal guy buys you flowers and chocolates.
=Edward Cullen buys you a car.

= God gives more than what 1000 normal guys and 100 Edwards can give, combined… every time you ask. :)
*Psalm 2:8 – “Ask of me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession.”
*John 15:7 – “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.”
*Philippians 4:19 – “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”

♥

=Edward Cullen loved a clumsy, average girl like Bella

=Jesus’ heart goes out to the filthiest, poorest, even most immoral sinners ever to walk on earth.
*1 Timothy 1:16 – “But for that very reason, I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.”
*Matthew 9:12-13 – “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

♥

=While far apart in different places a normal guy would say: “I miss you”
=While far apart in different place Edward Cullen would say: “It’s like you've taken half of myself with you."

=Jesus doesn’t just reciprocate love and emotion, he even aches and longs for people who doesn’t even want to have anything to do with Him.
*Luke 13:34 – “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!”

♥

= Jesus is just the ultimate romantic.
*Romans 8:38 – “For I am convinced that neither DEATH nor LIFE, neither ANGELS nor DEMONS, neither the PRESENT nor the FUTURE, nor ANY POWERS, neither HEIGHT nor DEPTH, nor ANYTHING else in ALL CREATION, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

♥

= Because His love SURPASSES KNOWLEDGE.
*Ephesians 3:18 – “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long, and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

♥

= Because He left His Kingdom to die for me.
*Philippians 2:5-8
5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

♥

= Edward Cullen is fictional.

= JESUS CHRIST IS ALIVE and He will come again!!!
* John 14:1-3 - “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

--- > I don't know about you but I'm speechless. And those are only few verses from the Bible, not even enough to fill up one side of a page. Ahh, pure pure love. :)

--- > I'd love to tell you more but it's 4:43am already. :P


"Why settle for the Knight in Shining Armour when you can have the KING of Kings."

♥ Blessy



(I found those "reasons to love Edward Cullen" all over the internet. Oh and btw, I'm not a hater. I think his character has been written quite well. Kudos to Meyer!)

Here in Your presence, heaven and earth become one...

Here in Your presence, heaven and earth become one...

It's amazing how this line speaks a lot. Truly that when His people here on earth begin to join the heavenly worship , heaven and earth become one. There is an overwhelming exploding atmosphere of hearts being molded as one - one purpose, one mind, one will, one voice. God's purpose for creating His most valued creation comes to its full glory.

The heavens worship Him, the trees worship Him, the mountains worship Him, the animals and all other creation above, on, and below the ground worship Him... but when His people begin to lift up their hands and voices in adoration, the very purpose is fulfilled. For that moment in time, there is a revelation of what will be happening when heaven and earth become one at the end of time. Isn't God's plan truly amazing?

Expect more, desire more, WORSHIP HIS MAJESTY! 'Coz you can't help but do that... :)

Amazing He is!

Fragrance and Thorns

Sometimes I do feel a slight prick in my heart whenever I see couples who are very much happy and in love. Often times I just don't care, especially when I see younger couples who seem to be ecstatic about having someone to cuddle up with.

Sometimes I do feel sad; sometimes it just doesn't matter anymore. I do have thoughts in my mind - when will my turn be? Is there really someone out there that God has set apart for me? Or what if He wants me to be single for the rest of my earthly life? I want to make sense of things. I want to know His plans.

Sometimes I do ask - why this? Not that I hate it, not that I like it either. It just confuses me a lot. I've had my fair share of grave mistakes in the past and I don't want to repeat history. I've read somewhere that if you want to raise your caliber as a woman, you must set a high standard for men. Exactly, I don't want to give my heart out to anyone who walks by and asks for it; I'm happy I got over the "he's cute so he'll make a great bf" stage.

Sometimes I want to do things my own way; sometimes I do get tired of waiting. Sometimes I'm stuck in the middle, and that's where I am actually... well, let's say most of the time. I want to believe that there will come a time wherein I would see God's perfect match for me. He need not be perfect like those fairytale princes and romance novel hunks, 'coz when he is God-given, I'm sure he's the ONE. But when? Or what if I'm waiting for nothing? I'm confused.

Sometimes I just can't find the answer myself, even if I look through every page in the Bible. I mean, I know it's there but I do need help finding it and understanding it; I'm not a one-man band, I need help. I do thank God 'coz He does speak to me wherever I lay my eyes on. Just a few things I've read:

"Yet in the Bible, those who followed God's leadership and guidance when searching for a soulmate (Isaac) fared better than those who tried to do it their own way (Jacob, David, Solomon, etc.)" - Brian Tubbs [that I haven't noticed before]

Demoss exhorts singles not to make marriage and sex their objective, but rather to become a godly lover as Christ did. "If we’re to become more Christlike, we’ll need to learn that generosity and serving others is at the heart of the matter," concludes DeMoss in Sex & the Single Person. "In doing, we’ll best prepare ourselves for life whether we remain single or married." [I like this one. Godly lovers.]

"Honor God with your life. Keep your vows to him even if it hurts. It will pay off in the long run." - (I forgot who said this.. credits to you) [True that.]

It still hurts. It does, but I can't afford to lose my relationship with the One who loves me the most. Although the pain may mask my heart and my eyes, causing me not to see the love He is constantly giving me, but it's there. I just have to see it, it is right there.

But few things are for sure,

I'd rather be single than be with the wrong one...

I'd rather be single than be lost in the world of earthly lust and immorality...

I'd rather be single than hate myself afterwards for not listening to what God is saying about marriage and relationships...

I'd rather be single than be addicted to pseudo-affection... and pain.

I want to find my contentment in You, Lord.

Pondering.

Lord, let Your love consume me like fire.
I want to dwell in Your presence forever,
and stay where You are.
It's overwhelming but it feels so good.

When it doesn't feel right...

I miss the times when I don't have to exert effort in friendship.
It's just is. I don't feel uncomfy or intimidated. It's just how it is, we are friends.
No need to explain myself, or prove myself to them.
No need to always start the conversation, or think hard about the next topic or next thing I'm going to say.
No awkward silences. If there are some, they just resort to laughter afterwards.
No need to try and fit in because I don't have to. We're just part of each other.
We can endure long talks on the phone, text messages all night long.
They got my back, I got theirs.I'm always part of the gimmicks and hangouts. I rarely missed out on those things.
Everything's genuine, what I see is what I get.
Those were the times when I just feel happy upon seeing them, and actually enjoy their company.
No one's left out, we were all in this together.
It was never just a "hi, hello" relationship, but it was an actual friendship.
I miss the times when I was actually friendly enough to befriend the entire class.
I miss how I'm so outgoing, and so jolly, and so funny, and so down-to-earth.
I miss how I'm always one of those people whom everybody actually knows of because of what I do and who I am.
I miss being a chum, a confidant, someone who would always listen and cheer people up.
I miss having tons of friends whom I can share my laughs with and spend movie days with.
From joyrides to mall hopping, the memories are just priceless.
I miss having chums whom I can tell everything to, who will listen and not grow tired of it.
Who actually know when I'm not in a good mood or when I'm not feeling well, or maybe if I'm broken-hearted. Who would message me early in the morning just to ask if I'm okay.
Friends who not only care about their close friends but everyone else. It's hard to fit in when you know you don't.
It's hard to take that first step. And get stuck at that first step.
Sometimes I wonder if it's just me.
But then again... I wouldn't really feel this way if there's nothing that makes me feel the way that I do.
It's hard to peek through little worlds, and try to find one that speaks most.It's harder to find one that is open.And every single night I ask God why I sense and see the things that I see.
Is it because I don't want to let go and start anew?
Or is it because they just don't want to let me in.

It's not that I lost the luster that I have in building friendships, I think I know I still have that.I know there's something wrong...

But I just want to find my old self again. The true me. The real me. Not the old ways, but the good in me.

It's hard to have just one or two persons to talk to all the time beyond the "hi's and hello's" of everyone else. I know how important it is to have friends, godly friends especially.

If it's just like that, maybe I could find the intimacy that I'm looking for somewhere else. I know God will lead me to them. I just know. Then I will truly be at home.

Peace Arch... and some more longing.

Well this morning was okay. I was half-lazy, half-sick... or maybe 1/4 lazy, 3/4 sick. I didn't go to the Sunday devotion again, because I was just too sick to get up. I even thought I won't be able to back up; I had no voice, really. I just decided to go on stage at the last minute. I was like 'should I stay or should I go now', *insert music here* LOL. But God is really good, at least He did let me stand even though I can't move that much and I feel like I'm gonna faint. =p. I didn't go back there for the ministering after the word and the victory though, I just can't do it.

Hectic, hectic, hectic sched. School's starting on Tuesday. But not for me... it starts tomorrow. =/ Well I have to go there tomorrow for this training thing and what not. I should just skip the whole thing and go somewhere else - out of province, perhaps?

I would say I didn't really enjoy my summer. At least I had this nice weekend with my family... oh and CYN Camp. But other than that, it was pretty... plain. No trips to Pinas, not even a single trip to Victoria. My parents and I had this small talk about us not going anywhere... I know I had made my point though. I was starting to get really tired of seeing the same four-cornered place, same intersections and stop lights, same stuff over and over again. I want something new; I feel like Surrey is choking me to death. I'm not claustrophobic but I feel like I'm locked up in a tight, secluded place and I'm gasping for breath.

Awesome though, we went to Peace Arch today. For the first time ever, I've stepped on US soil. LOL. And I never even realized I've crossed the geographic border already (not the barricaded one). I could've taken a picture of my first step! LOL, tourist. Another memory etched on my heart. =D Anypoo, it's always nice to run away from all craziness and be with my family; I always know that I'm home when I'm with them. Aww. Mush-mush-much. Few months from now, I'm going to cross that border... but for now, I'm happy seeing that other side. It makes the wait so much exciting. Kinda like love...

'put that past away... put that past away... put that past awwwaaaayy', expect for something great...no, greater... PERFECT.

I know I have my unfinished business that is yet to be done, but I shouldn't be so lost in it. You are just another northern star; that's all you'll ever be.


Some 'cham'callitz:

-- Something confirmed, another northern star added to my constellations. When will I ever see the end of the rainbow? I'm waiting Lord.

-- Saw my long-time-no-see friend, Marvin, today.

-- Bit disappointed with Duty Free, but then again, it is Duty Free anyway. =p

Bloggnish bloggnish and whatcham'callitz.

SO I just realized, well not really "just realized" since I've been aware of this since...some time ago, I might have an account in every blog site imaginable (Okay I might have exaggerated a bit). What to do then? It's good to only have one active, two or more is just a hassle. =/ I could've had my own domain if Wordpress hadn't made my head ache so badly. LOL. Anypoo-poo. Bloggnish bloggnish, we'll see how it goes.

Ooh yeah, speaking of whatcham'callitz, my friends and I went downtown to watch this really nice Filipino movie. It's entitled "A Very Special Love". It was nice seeing new reel-life couples. This one has Sarah Geronimo and John Lloyd Cruz - yeah I know, but hey infairness it was a really good team-up. I love how it's so funny too, Sarah's a natural, and John Lloyd... is really gwapo. =D
If I haven't been distracted by the fact that... *secret, I'm not telling*, I could've enjoyed it better.

~*Going through Your first stanza, will you take me to Your Chorus now?*~

Aboard the Emotional Rollercoaster...again.

Undo - Rush of Fools

This song really speaks to me a lot at this point in time. "I've been here before, now here I am again..." Oh yeah, that's how I'm feeling. I feel like I'm in a carnival, and I'm riding in a rollercoaster; however, it's not something that I usually enjoy - not when I've been riding it over and over again.

Have you ever gone aboard the "Emotional Rollercoaster"? Oh I have been, and I'm on it right now. It's a weird and overwhelming feeling, really, that if someone would ask what my problem is, I would have no clue as to what I would say. I know I have a lot to mention, but for some reason, my mind will just go blank even though my heart feels like bursting out.

Why can't I just continue with what I know is right? Why still fall in spite of the truth that lies within my heart? For some reason, something is stopping me, or should I say, someone is trying to lure me away from You.

I need You Jesus. :(